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February 06, 2006

Super Bowl Highlights from Venemous Kate

Yesterday was the big game and it is clear that if Joey Porter is going to claim the refs wanted Indy to win three weeks ago, they just as damned sure wanted Pittsburgh to win yesterday. Some of the worst officiating I have ever seen. But this blog entry by Venemous Kate makes it all worthwhile.

My husband’s always seemed to prefer my absence during football games, possibly because my presence dampens his enthusiastic displays. I’m the kind of wife who keeps a quiet but watchful eye on the number of empty beer bottles piling up on the coffee table. The kind who doesn’t care how far off a quarterback’s pass was, it’s still not an excuse to knock potato chips and dip all over the carpet. And, yes, I’m the kind who loudly shushes her spouse whenever he’s screaming at the top of his lungs over a lame-ass play: “Dear, they can’t hear you. Stop screaming!” ... And then it happened — that thing that Hubby has been secretly praying for throughout the past 9 years we’ve known each other. I became a raving, screaming football fanatic.

It started when a ref called an offensive pass interference on Darrell Jackson, overturning a touchdown, when the ref clearly had his head too far up his ass (or maybe up Chris Hope’s?) to see the game being played right in front of him. And, although Jerramy Stevens broke my heart more than once, I wasn’t so bitter as to overlook the B.S. holding call on Sean Locklear that took the thunder out of Hasselbeck’s pass to him. Having it all topped off by a gimme to Ben Roethlisberger’s diving leap to the endzone — despite the ball never actually breaking the plane — well, it was enough to send me into a screaming frenzy that made Hubby sit back in mute awe and admiration.

Luckily, the Big-Eyed Boy was in bed long before they called a “block below the waist” on a tackler, because I think I actually managed to teach Hubby a few new swear words that time.

The refs in this game were so bad, that they turned a normally mild mannered woman with only a passing interest in football, into a raving, swearing chip spilling idiot to match her husband. VK is now a football fan and if she can build on this performance, she may just get an invite to our place to join the rest of us idiots and teach my wife a thing or two about proper conduct during a ball game.

Note to Kate--loud, profanity laced tirades are less appropriate for women during the regular and pre-season, and if you use the outside, stadium voice too often, it loses its effect. But this game was clearly appropriate for almost any phrase or volume level that you could have used in describing the shafting that the Refs gave the Seahawks.

Posted by Justin at February 6, 2006 12:25 PM