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January 06, 2007

Mystery Date (h/t Adam at Highly Obsessed)

Adam at Highly Obsessed posted an article linking to an updated version of the 70's board game Mystery Date. Some highlights of the post at accordion guy:

Snowboarding Date with Steve-O McTokesalot

mystery-date-snowboarder.jpg

Many snowboarders do not make ideal dates. They'll bore you to death about which resort has good runs and how skiers must die; they may not have the capacity to talk about anything else because they've liquefied their brains by listening to Danzig at high volumes on their iPods. Let's not forget their weed habits, either -- a lovely young lady I knew once dated a 'boarder who smoked up so much that their nights of passion ended up being, shall we say, like spending hours trying to stuff a marshmallow into a parking meter. If you get my drift.

Two of the other dates are as follows:

Prom Date with Preppy McSmug

Next on the list is smug guy in rented tux. I have always maintained that renting a tuxedo is like renting bowling shoes -- except that with bowling shoes, the odds are that the previous renters didn't throw up in them.

Smug Boy will probably spend more time admiring himself in the mirror than looking at his date. He'll eventually go on to college to major in bird courses (I believe Americans call them "gut courses"), keggers and date rape.

The Nerd Date

Finally, a nice nerd boy, dressed like the guys from Weezer and sporting either a laptop or notepad. Unfortunately, he's the "dud" date.

Speaking as a nerd, this is an outrage!

Snowboard boy's probable fate is talking to high school kids about the dangers of drugs as part of his community service. Tuxedo boy will likely end up clawing his way up to middle management at the #5-rated office supply company. However, Nerd boy's future prospects are pretty bright and speaking from experience and observation, nerds make better dates simply because they're grateful to get one.

So forget Mystery Date, people. Go buy Trivial Pursuit instead. Better yet, go out with a nerd on a Mystery Science Theater 3000 date! You won't regret it.

mst3k... Yep. He said that. Check out his post. Beautiful post. Check out the entire thing and the pictures for more details. I just love Steve-O Mctokesalot. I swear I ride the lifts with these guys occasionally and my brother Jeremy fits the bill. After a while, guys like this end up where Jeremy is--pumping gas and filling propane tanks at a gas station and smoking up while playing 4-5 hours a night of Madden with his boss.

Posted by Justin at January 6, 2007 12:41 PM